Which One Are You?

I had a really interesting conversation with a friend of mine the other night. one that ultimately led me to tears. We were talking about the all consuming subject of following your dreams. He is a family guy, he has 3 kids, a beautiful wife and a great job. In his heart of hearts, all he wants to do is buy a camper, load up the family and travel, in his case, it's chasing the fish up the coast. He talked about going to Alaska, about hitting the Canadian coast, about heading down south as far as he can go. As he was telling me this, he was alive. He has told his wife that this is his dream and please, honey, can we do it? Her reaction, I can only surmise, was not pleasant. He told me that he knows in his heart of hearts that this is his path, that he doesn't need all the stuff they have accumulated and on and on. Why did this bring me to tears? Because I can say, with 90% certainty that he won't make the "move".

Nothing frustrates me more than people who accept and choose to live in their own personal mediocrity. Forever chasing some twisted version of how they think they are supposed to live their lives. See, the thing about life, is that it passes way to quickly for all of us. I, at times, have been stuck in the quiet desperation of mediocrity, wanting to be somewhere else, to be someone else.

I hear it all the time "that's not reality" or "but, I have commitments, I have bills, I have blah blah blah". Really? Are outside things more important than your heart? Are they more important than doing what you truly want to do with this life we have all been given? It makes me sad.

And it makes me a tad judgmental of them, which I know is wrong wrong wrong. I've divided people into several categories when contemplating life. Which again, is pigeon-holing people and who am I to do that? I'm not anyone really, all I have is the knowledge that I have made a shit ton of mistakes in my own quest in the great movement of life and maybe, I can learn something more from all of this.

The first category I put people into are the "Fakers." The ones that constantly talk about doing "The Move", but never actually do. They are the ones that will go buy a new car, because hey, they NEED it, but we all know they get stuck and that is where they really want to be. They don't actually do anything to fulfill the dreams bouncing around in their heads. They just talk talk talk. I don't care for this group, lacking the passion and commitment for any real change. I mean, why don't they just say, "Hey, I will be here in this place for the rest of my life and I'm OK with that."

The next category of people are, what's known as the "Weekend Warriors". These people I am slightly envious of in a weird way. They are perfectly content to work and live their everyday lives during the week and then blow it up on the weekends. This category, I believe, is rare. However, it is the biggest category people like to put themselves in. They are the ones that truly are perfectly happy with the lives that they have created. Happy to have roots and happy to have a family and stuff. Again, this category is rare, though, practically everyone says they are in it.

Next we have the "Giver Uppers". These are the people that choose to ignore any light at the end of the tunnel. They are the ones that will tell you any number of excuses for their current situation and they are almost always negative. It goes something like this "I used to have hope and dreams, but I'm not rich enough, smart enough, this person was/is mean to me, I have commitments and I'm stuck" and on and on. I don't care to associate with these people. They are the ones that refuse to grasp any sort of opportunity, living wholly in a "woe is me space". Yuck. Who wants to be like that? Who wants to be around that? Not this girl.

Then we have the "Almost There" category, which my friend falls into. They know they have to make a change, and trust me, in one way or another it will happen. However, by the time it does happen, they are often stuck in a move they truly didn't want. I really like this category. They are the ones that need a nudge. They are destined for greatness, if only they can look for it and have the courage to say "This is MY life, not yours."

Lastly, we have the true"Movers". I see them in my line of work everyday. They go after what they want and disregard outside pressures to not do "it". They are the ones that basically tell family and friends to accept them or get out. I like this category and strive to be in it. They are the ones that ignore fear, ignore outside influences and just do. They are the committed of the world. In history, they have been the explorers, the adventurers, the world changers. They are the Edmund Hillarys, the Helen Blums, the Doyle Brunsons, the Magellans, and the Therouxs.

It may be simplistic to categorize people in such terms, and perhaps, I am wrong in doing so. What I do know, is that a life of quiet desperation is no life at all. What are you willing to do to chase the "Move". You don't need money, it's not about that. I know a guy who traveled the coast of Mexico in search of waves with a $500 car, a tent, his dog, and $300 in the bank. He was doing what he had to do to stay alive mentally and spiritually. It's not about what you have in the "move", its about strength of character, commitment, and the knowledge that only you can make your life. No one else can or should be responsible for you. Not your parents, family, friends, or bosses. Should you up and leave your husband or wife, your job, your house, your mediocre life to make the "move"? Well, if you are already considering it, then it will happen eventually, so why not NOW? There is truly nothing to fear if you are being authentic to yourself. That authenticity will get you through the lonely times, it will feed you and clothe you. Within it lives the knowledge that your fear has been discarded and your dreams are right at your fingertips, changing and growing with you along the sometimes potholed but gloriously winding road of life. The time is now people. Go for it.

Peace and love,

Lara

*I know I may have missed a couple of categories, so post one if I have.