Being Human Amongst the Beauty

Since my trip into the world has been put on hold while I take care of things here, I have spent countless hours remembering. Scouring pictures taken, hoping to recapture it, recapture the moments spent.

And my mind drifts to the same people I thought of while traveling, one person in particular. Someone that I felt around me when I needed to, while in reality, we were separated by thousands of miles, our dreams, and our hopes. When I didn't need to gather strength from my own silly daydreams, I strove to capture the beauty around me, reminding myself that it won't be there forever, that I won't be here forever and that if I shut my eyes for even a second, perhaps when I opened them, it would be gone.

At one particular point, I found myself on the Mekong River. I was on a rickety boat traveling the from Thailand into Laos. For two days, we traveled. Floating at a speed that seems impossibly slow now. I was joined by fellow wanderers and locals. A small Laotian boy sat next to me on the second day and stared at my skin for hours. He reached out his tiny little hand and poked it. I think it scared him because soon after he ran to his fathers lap.

We spent the night at a tiny village. Pulling into a makeshift dock as monks and children looked on. Our bags were thrown haphazardly in a pile and I didn't care. My things, the only possessions I owned in the world, didn't matter. How could they? I was in a village only accessible by boat in Laos. That night, I drifted off to sleep in the room rented with my friend Francine. Francine is a 75 year old American woman. She lives in a houseboat on an island in the Caribbean. That amazing woman traveled around the world, escaping hurricanes and her husband for months.

We woke the next morning and dined on a wooden patio overlooking the river, discovering soon after that the boat we came in on had been switched to one of fair lessor comfort and stability. The makeshift seats made up of old car seats were replaced with hard church-like pews and folding wooden chairs. I found myself in the back of the boat, trying to find a measure of comfort during the 9+ hour ride. I was also out of money, having neglected to exchange enough at the Laos border. Yet, the wonderful people I was traveling with did not let me go thirsty. Francine and I shared a bundle of sweet bananas and I drank Laos beer. At the time, I felt like that boat trip would never end. Now I wish that it never had.

Why is it so easy to miss the beauty around us? Focusing instead on our own inner struggles and the people that make up the fabric of those struggles. I realize now that I was so focused on things like finding an internet connection, my dwindling bank account, my aching back, the humidity that seemed to sit on me. If only I could go back and know that my various social media activities could have waited, I was in Laos of all places!

Earlier this week I drove over 4,000 miles. I tried to remember that lesson. I watched the mountains dwindle into plains, the sunset arching around the earth's circumference, the rain pounding on the tin roof, and the birds of prey circling in wait. It was pure beauty. And yet, my mind drifted to that particular person, so much closer yet still lost in dreams that are not mine. I am human after all.

Peace, love, and joy

Lara