A Whole Mess of Emotions

I have tried multiple times to sit down and write a blog post, but somehow I have found it easier to be distracted by the huge amount of activity in my life right now. It's been much easier to hang out with friends, old and new and work like crazy. I've needed the distraction to some extent because this is hard.

I am experiencing a whole mess of emotions right now and it's been tough. I leave my life here in a month and I never in a million years thought I would have so many conflicting emotions. Every time I have moved, I have been running from something and when you are running it's much easier to just go. This time, I'm not running from anything. I have a terrific life here. I have a successful business that I built from the ground up and an amazing support system of people that will always be, figuratively speaking, by my side. Add to that a profound feeling of excitement about the new adventures I am going to experience and throw in a dash of real fear and you have me at this moment. An emotional mess and trying so very hard to distract myself because it's easier that way.

I ran into a friend of mine last night that didn't know I was leaving. He told me that at the game of life, I will always win with my decision. I think I really needed to hear that. Sometimes its the people that you never expected it from that give you what you need the most.

My deadline is sneaking up on me and I wish I could stop time in those moments that will stay in my memory for a very long time. I have so much to get done before I leave as well, and for the first time in my life, find myself procrastinating like crazy. I just have to keep reminding myself that all of the things I own aren't going to magically sell themselves and all of the personal paperwork isn't going to walk itself to the copy machine at Kinkos, though I wish it would.

The truth is, I am incredibly excited about leaving, please don't misconstrue this to think I'm not. I just don't know my place in the world right now, and that my friends, is a huge change for me.

I'm going to get to doing what needs to be done.

Peace and love