Leaving Thailand, Falling into Laos, Escaping to Vietnam

I need to begin this blog clear back in Thailand a couple of weeks ago, so prepare yourself, I have a lot of ground to cover. I ended up in the far north, near Myanmar and met up with Nick and Svetta, 2 Americans I had met in Chiang Mia. As a group we decided to spend one day in Myanmar and then take a 2 day slow boat to Laos. Myanmar ended up being a giant waste of time, but my passport stamp looks interesting at least. I think the only thing of note about Myanmar that I saw were the US DOJ posters everywhere offering awards for terrorist. Pretty interesting to see the long arm of the US law reach all the way over to SE Asia. The next day, Nick, Svetta, Andy and Sandra (two crazy Scotts) and Francine (a 67 year old American traveling without her husband) and I set off for Laos. After getting throughly ripped off by the tour operator at the border, we walked through pounding rain to the dock and boarded a slow boat that would take us 5 hours up the Mekong River to a tiny village where we would stay the night and then finish the trip the next day after another 9 hours on board. The boat was fairly comfortable and we settled in cushy seats in the front and listened to Andy the Scottsman yell "Beer Lao, Beer Lao!" every 20 minutes. It was a really fun, relaxing day.

The next day, we woke bright and early and decided to get on board the boat early to get good seats. Unfortunately, they had pulled a bait and switch on us and the boat we got in was half the size of the one from the day before. Even worse, the seats were either hard backed wooden benches or tiny folding wooden chairs. Not the most comfortable way to spend 9 hours. Fortunately, I picked a seat almost opposite to a really hot guy, at the very least knowing that looking at him would give me something to pass the hours with. We actually ended up talking a bit and I was intrigued by him. I already knew that I had never met anyone quite like him. I even whispered to Francine "Holy shit, he teaches philosophy and is in a band and he's hot!". Frannie gave me the thumbs up signal, the one that women all over the world can recognize and that was all I needed. Alex and I talked and looked and looked away and talked some more all the way to Luang Prabang, Laos. I was excited to put it mildly. We got off the boat and waited for our bags to be unloaded and he simply disappeared on me. "Oh well", I thought, "Maybe Ill see him here in town somewhere." Frannie and I decided to room together that night and went to dinner with the whole group including the Scots, and Kevin, another American we seemed to have picked up along the way. It was a super chill evening, only punctuated by Frannie and I fervently looking for Alex in every restaurant we walked by.

The next day, Frannie and woke up and hooked up with Nick and Svetta for some breakfast and conversation. We were walking back to our guest house when Frannie grabbed my arm and said, "There he is!" I ran across the street yelling Alexs' name and found out he was leaving right at that moment to go to another town with his friends. Dejectedly I got his email address, sure I would never see him again. Later that afternoon, Frannie and I decided to book a kayaking trip to some caves on the Mekong River, I was really craving some exercise and outdoor time and couldn't wait to get on the river. We booked our trip, walked down the street, and imagine my surprise when I saw Alex sitting down to eat at a restaurant. Of course, I invited him to come kayaking with us and he agreed, booked it and invited me to eat some lunch with him. 3 hours later we finally moved from the table and walked to a book store, got caught in monsoon rain showers, watched a movie, and got caught in a full on pitch black power outage while walking to dinner. I loved every second or every minute spent with him. I later found out that he decided to stay in Luang Prabang because I was there.

The next day, Frannie, Alex and I went kayaking. Alex was my partner and I have to admit, not the most experienced I have seen. We almost got swept downstream to the sounds of Frannie and the guides laughing at us from shore. We actually had to cross the Mekong River at 2 points and it was so very hard. The river is huge, fast moving, and down right daunting at certain places. We both breathed a sigh of relief when we did the second crossing safely. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to enjoy it as I inadvertently stepped up to my knees in mud and then fell forward like a broke down toy. Of course, Alex and the natives found it hilarious.

The next several days were punctuated by nothing exciting except spending every moment with Alex and that was all the excitement I needed. Frannie left after 3 days with promises to put me up on her house boat in Puerto Rico if I ever make it down there. Slowly, everyone left from our group, except Alex, the Scotts, Kevin, and me. Then suddenly it seems, the day came when it was time for all of us to leave. The Scotts had to catch a flight to Vietnam, Alex had to catch a flight back to London, Kevin had to leave for southern Laos, and me? I randomly decided to go to Vang Vieng, the party capital of Laos. Somewhere in the days preceding that, Alex and I decided to give a real relationship a shot. We both really want this to work. I am a really outgoing person, but I don't really open up to people. I have a massive wall around certain things and I have been adding bricks to that wall through the years. Alex was able to chisel away at it with just his smile. This is such a strange feeling because I haven't been in a committed relationship for years and certainly wasn't expecting to find someone I actually want one with in Laos of all places. Luang Prabang was the perfect setting for it all. The town is my own personal Shangri La. It is a UNESCO World Heritage site, so protected from development. The French originally settled there and because of that the architecture is gorgeous. The Laos people we met have to be my favorite. They are some of the nicest, most modest and unassuming people I have ever met.

The next few days were so incredibly hard for me. I found myself wandering the streets of Vang Vieng in a daze. I didn't speak to a single person for 2 days. I don't think I have ever been that lonely in my life. I wasn't just missing Alex, I was missing everyone I had spent the past 2 weeks with. We all really fit well together and I can't imagine finding that again on this journey of mine. I ended up getting on a bus for Vientiane, Laos and met up with Kevin there. He listened to me cry and was a friendly face when I really needed one. I spent 2 days there and randomly bought a plane ticket for Ho Chi Min City, (Saigon) Vietnam. I landed there yesterday and promptly bought a bus ticket taking me to a beach town. It's gorgeous here, the people are relaxed and incredibly friendly, and I actually was able to pick a good guest house for once.

I am still lonely. I still haven't really talked to very many people. I didn't know what I was missing until I had it with Alex and now I don't know how I can be where he isn't. I have been traveling for months, lonely for a few minutes out of a few days, but otherwise perfectly content. Now I feel so very alone and it really sucks to be in this incredibly beautiful country and not be able to share it with anyone I care about.

Tomorrow I am going to give wind surfing a try and possibly do some paddle boarding. The waves are dead, so unfortunately there is no surfing on my horizon. I don't know where I am going from here, but I do know that each day will get a little easier and eventually I will be back to my usual happy, excited to be out here self.



Peace, love, and joy

Lara